gut feelings

what is unexplainable is also kind of perfect

I Dreamed I was the Night by David Alvarez

I think one of the best (and rarest) feelings in the world is knowing you’re doing something that feels right.

Most of the time we’re taught to mistrust our gut: what feels good isn’t necessarily good for you, what’s painful isn’t necessarily bad. And I agree to some extent, for example, it’s a good idea to delay gratification to achieve certain results. But I also think we collectively pay too much attention to what looks good rather than what feeds our soul, what we think we’re supposed to do rather than what we actually want to do. So maybe paying attention to that fluffy indicator, what feels right, is actually pretty important.

I really really respect people who are good at listening to their gut instincts, who are in tune with what feels right and chart their actions accordingly. Most of us are stuck twisting helplessly in that little gap between knowing what feels right and actually doing anything to progress towards it. Most of us hide from what we actually want: disguise it as something else, rote-perform things like little successful robots. Fit ourselves into boxes of other people’s making. We rationalize our way into doing things because of what they represent: prestige, status, beauty. What I realized recently is this: at the end of the day, even if you have everything you *should* want, you can still feel misaligned. Then what? Then you’re forced into finally listening to what the gut instinct has been telling you all along: you’ve been climbing up the wrong hill.

Gut feelings are relevant for relationships too. For example, ‘good on paper’ friendships or romantic partnerships can sometimes feel wrong and you can’t contort or squirm or decision-tree your way into making that particular connection feel right. The opposite is also true. True resonance between the right people has its own language. It’s incredibly effortless, a warm glow of energy they give you. Some people you can’t help but love. You can’t resist being a moth drawn to a flame. Something in you just knows: these are my people, this is my person. 

On the whole, my hot take is that the gut instinct (good or bad) is something to be honored. Practice listening closely to it a lot more because it’ll tell you exactly what you need. If you’re pulled to do something, fascinated by something, you should probably follow your inclination toward it. Stop yanking yourself away from things that feel right to you just because they are unexplainable to anyone else. On the flip side, stop staying in things that intuitively feel wrong just because they logically feel good.

“If you get close to what you love, who you are is revealed to you, and it expands” – Ethan Hawke

I love this quote. When you inch closer to alignment with your true needs, the result is expansive, not diminutive. Your whole world opens up. Intuitive freedom is allowing yourself to move with your emotions rather than against them. And emotional resonance can come from very unexpected places if you allow your internal compass to guide you. Maybe, just maybe, you don’t have to fight the feeling all the time.

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Some other things I’ve been thinking about

This idea of surrounding yourself with people who are ‘free in ways you are not’ from a 2014 post by Ribbonfarm, shared by Patricia Mou from Wellness Wisdom:

A lot of my friends are ‘free’ in ways that I am not and therefore they inspire me to grow and change. A relevant quote I immediately thought of is from an unknown author (I’ve had this quote saved for like a year and can finally use it):

“Relishing the company of people who sometimes make you feel, by comparison, uninformed, closed to new ideas, disordered, defensive, rigid, fearful, unambitious is an acquired skill. It kicks up shame. It humbles you. It dares you to grow.”

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And sharing a moment from this past brief and gorgeous weekend (biiig SF fan)

Anyways, hope you all have a beautiful week. Thank you for reading.

-N.