The societal expectations for navigating and ending friendships are incredibly fascinating. In my experience there is such a normalization of cutting off friends in situations in which there is nothing particularly dangerous or hurtful happening. No explanation given. And as much as it seems we don’t owe each other anything, maybe we do.
You are so so so good at translating feelings and experiences into words it amazes me every time I read your stuff 🤭 congrats on your one year anniversary on substack !!
"Many smart people they tell me their North Star is relationships and then I watch them careen towards excellence in work, while neglecting said relationships. I do this too: routinely give up my own North Star for something else that I want that feels more urgent."
this hits hard. it requires enormous bluntness with yourself to admit that your professed north star diverges from your actual behavior. but it can also be a relief to let go, to acknowledge what the deeper parts of you truly care about.
i've been having a hard week and i can already feel myself being sucked into another long depressive episode (typing this at 2:50 am). i want to fight it, but i'm also too tired. coming across a tweet where this substack was linked got me reading a bunch of your other works and i now feel a bit of motivation to be a little more braver tomorrow. thank you so much.
There's a sweet innocence about our younger selves. It's a good reminder to turn back to that when the North Star is too dim to find, hopefully your North Star burns brightly consistently!
Holy moly. Every time I read your substack I can feel my cynicism melt away. Emotionally resonating stuff
That's awesome Andy
The societal expectations for navigating and ending friendships are incredibly fascinating. In my experience there is such a normalization of cutting off friends in situations in which there is nothing particularly dangerous or hurtful happening. No explanation given. And as much as it seems we don’t owe each other anything, maybe we do.
You are so so so good at translating feelings and experiences into words it amazes me every time I read your stuff 🤭 congrats on your one year anniversary on substack !!
"Many smart people they tell me their North Star is relationships and then I watch them careen towards excellence in work, while neglecting said relationships. I do this too: routinely give up my own North Star for something else that I want that feels more urgent."
this hits hard. it requires enormous bluntness with yourself to admit that your professed north star diverges from your actual behavior. but it can also be a relief to let go, to acknowledge what the deeper parts of you truly care about.
Haha I was the opposite. Told myself I was all about work but really I thrived in was relationships. And now I lean into them!
Wow, Nix. Your writing speaks to me so deeply. I’m grateful I stumbled on your essays. Wishing you well
Really resonated
This resonated so much 💗
i’ve been thinking a lot about this too!! how turning away from those internal promises and interior truths is a form of self-abandonment
i've been having a hard week and i can already feel myself being sucked into another long depressive episode (typing this at 2:50 am). i want to fight it, but i'm also too tired. coming across a tweet where this substack was linked got me reading a bunch of your other works and i now feel a bit of motivation to be a little more braver tomorrow. thank you so much.
There's a sweet innocence about our younger selves. It's a good reminder to turn back to that when the North Star is too dim to find, hopefully your North Star burns brightly consistently!
❤️💌 thank you