I am writing to you from Bergen, a picturesque sea-town in the west of Norway. It is hilly, cobbled, gorgeous. It rains all the time. The streets are glossy. There is a 7-11 on every block. We buy a hot dog smothered in fried onions, a pack of black licorice, a soft raisin brioche from the corner store. The buildings are terracotta, lotus red. Three of us share one room, and everything is absurdly expensive. Curled up on my couch-slash-bed writing, I look outside. Itās midnight and I swear it looks like itās 4pm. The sun never sets.
Half of the year has gone, hasnāt it? I think often about the girl I was a year ago, four years ago. What would she think of my life, the way I look, how I speak, how I hold myself? You would tell me Iāve changed remarkably. Iām more invested in my interests, in things with no obvious return. Iām less stubborn. I still pursue novelty but I have a deeper appreciation of repetition now. Does that make us more similar or less? On the plane I listen to Landslide again, itās such a nostalgic song to me. Tomorrow we fly to Oslo.
Scattered contemplations from these few days:
Iām on the cusp of changing one moderately large aspect of my life. Itās funny how fundamental components (location, hobbies, job, health, relationships) are like pillars of a buildingā¦ or, less poetically, a precarious Jenga structure. You only really change one at a time to ensure that the whole doesnāt collapse in on itself. What about when everything changes? How does the center hold?
Most of the life-changing, critical turning points in life are a direct result of building up adequate volume of a) nerve, b) effort, c) persistence. In that order.
I donāt regret all the times I saved up time and energy to myself, sometimes at the expense of requests of others. To exist in quietness. To work silently toward my goals with focus and desire. We suffer when we disappoint ourselves most of all.
āYou never find the same person twice. Not even in the same personā (unknown)
I am really, really enjoying this journey Iām on. Itās taken me a long time to write like myself, think like myself. Practice feels like progression.
Ram Dass: āYou can do it like itās a great weight on you, or you can do it like a dance.ā (via Unsupervised)
The more people I meet, the more I realize that compatibility and connection is rare ā you could even meet a friend of a friend (already vetted to have similar interests) and simply not vibe, itās very individual and specific. We should cherish those moments of togetherness, synchronicity. Love is rare and we are lucky to experience it, even briefly.
This poem feels really timely!
Be attentive. Human, simple, beautiful things happen to us all the time. The moment slips. Give it language when you can.
āWhat we make testifies who we are. People can sense care and can sense carelessness. This relates to respect for each other and carelessness is personally offensiveā ā Jony Ive
People reveal themselves through small micro-moments. How someone does one thing is usually how they do everything. How they cook their eggs and call their parents. When they describe you, what do they say?
The taxi driver talks about his love of mountains as we turn through the roundabout. The windows are foggy, the trees blur into deep emerald. He tells us he is an ex-tobacco addict. There is a small nicotine patch on his right arm. He is a careful driver. His hands barely waver from the wheel. To mark the day he quit smoking cold turkey, he climbed all 7 mountains surrounding Bergen in 1 day. Heās completed this arduous hike every year for 14 years. Something about that determination, the simplicity, the grandeur of it, was endearing to me. Yes, take your life into your two hands. Give your body something to march toward. Choose a symbol. Weāre always choosing things to mean something anyways. Perhaps the act of choosing itself is sacred.
PS: this is a little bit different to the essays I usually write. What do you think?
If youād like to read longer, more theme-based essays please check out my archive here :) I will not be doing my regular sections for these quick letters that Iām posting more frequently so be sure to find the french song of the week and reading list on my main posts. Back to regular cadence in 2 weeks.
i love this style of writing. it really shines light on how you view the world. more of this please!
These shorter proses feel so good to read. I love the first 2 paragraphs.