"being liked by everyone isn't possible without some contortion or diminishing of self" is so beautifully written. a lot of my childhood was inadvertently lost because i tried to conform in a bubble that didn't fit me. i thought that was the only way to feel better about myself, to fit in. it was only when i broke off from my first few bubbles of friends that i realized that i didn't have to adapt to them to truly find myself. if i am freely me, the right people will come.
"You don’t have to pretzel yourself into an image or a set of traits or squeeze into something uncomfortable to be valuable." this spoke to me the most. i've been struggling recently with friendships who expect me to act like a certain type of friend but i just can't right now.
this blog helped me a lot to rethink and does anybody have advice on how to .. part ways with a friendship that's no longer working..? i really don't want to keep this cycle of pressuring myself to be the friend that they expect me to be and be disappointed w myself when i can't.
“There are people out there who will be enchanted by the machinations of your mind.” I love this. When I was in college I definitely felt like I had to hide a lot of parts of me to fit into my friend group. Now that I’m older, I’m learning to accept the things I used to be ashamed of (or my old friend group judged me for), embrace them, and connect with other people who also like me for me.
I love when I find something that resonates to the season of my life I am weathering and this was it. Tears in my eyes as I read this, feeling understood and having things articulated that I have yet to put on paper. Be blessed.
I adore this - thank you. "Being in good relationships allows you to stay tender, to know the borders of the mind are open and wide and free to roam. Thoughts can spill off the edge and land in a safe place."
"Nowadays I think reality is far more romantic. I like that there are a million people wrong for me, and only a few right. I like that we mess up and forgive. Witnessing, observing, each other is an art form. There is no act more faithful than letting yourself be seen." So freaking spot ON. I needed to read this today so thank you for sharing.
“There is no act more faithful than letting yourself be seen.” I love this - because it reminds me that allowing myself to be seen requires courage, authenticity and confidence all things I aspire to grow in.
This is a fantastic question - I think it depends how important you rank those dimensions to you. E.g., I don't expect my friends to read my writing and relate to me on this dimension, but I do expect my friends to be curious about my ideas/intentions/orientation toward life. So just being pretty good at discerning what are really important to the core of who you are vs accessory bits.
Perhaps also that dimension may not even be accessible to people until a certain amount of time (e.g., some things can only be shared after a foundation of trust over many years) which is why it isn't being fulfilled.
"being liked by everyone isn't possible without some contortion or diminishing of self" is so beautifully written. a lot of my childhood was inadvertently lost because i tried to conform in a bubble that didn't fit me. i thought that was the only way to feel better about myself, to fit in. it was only when i broke off from my first few bubbles of friends that i realized that i didn't have to adapt to them to truly find myself. if i am freely me, the right people will come.
"You don’t have to pretzel yourself into an image or a set of traits or squeeze into something uncomfortable to be valuable." this spoke to me the most. i've been struggling recently with friendships who expect me to act like a certain type of friend but i just can't right now.
this blog helped me a lot to rethink and does anybody have advice on how to .. part ways with a friendship that's no longer working..? i really don't want to keep this cycle of pressuring myself to be the friend that they expect me to be and be disappointed w myself when i can't.
I could use the same advice. I'm struggling with the same thing right now.
I live your bogs. They always calm my mind when I read them
Yes yes yes 💛
Lovely read! Thanks for putting words to this topic!
This is so well written!
Such pretty writing
i loved this so much
“There are people out there who will be enchanted by the machinations of your mind.” I love this. When I was in college I definitely felt like I had to hide a lot of parts of me to fit into my friend group. Now that I’m older, I’m learning to accept the things I used to be ashamed of (or my old friend group judged me for), embrace them, and connect with other people who also like me for me.
I love when I find something that resonates to the season of my life I am weathering and this was it. Tears in my eyes as I read this, feeling understood and having things articulated that I have yet to put on paper. Be blessed.
I adore this - thank you. "Being in good relationships allows you to stay tender, to know the borders of the mind are open and wide and free to roam. Thoughts can spill off the edge and land in a safe place."
“Good decisions feel like floating, not sinking. Good people too. I search for that feeling everywhere now.” --> WOW
There is no act more faithful than letting yourself be seen.--> JUST FREAKING WOW
"Nowadays I think reality is far more romantic. I like that there are a million people wrong for me, and only a few right. I like that we mess up and forgive. Witnessing, observing, each other is an art form. There is no act more faithful than letting yourself be seen." So freaking spot ON. I needed to read this today so thank you for sharing.
“There is no act more faithful than letting yourself be seen.” I love this - because it reminds me that allowing myself to be seen requires courage, authenticity and confidence all things I aspire to grow in.
I love you. That’s the comment.
This is a fantastic question - I think it depends how important you rank those dimensions to you. E.g., I don't expect my friends to read my writing and relate to me on this dimension, but I do expect my friends to be curious about my ideas/intentions/orientation toward life. So just being pretty good at discerning what are really important to the core of who you are vs accessory bits.
Perhaps also that dimension may not even be accessible to people until a certain amount of time (e.g., some things can only be shared after a foundation of trust over many years) which is why it isn't being fulfilled.